kindergarbage.

feeling philanthropic, i went to my parents' house today to bag up a few things to take to the local goodwill. it's cold outside and i hear mossimo shirts make prime kindling material for the down-trodden. as i rummaged through the closet of my youth, looking for flammable conversational t-shirts, i stumbled across this gem.

it's an old notebook (circa 1989-1990) full of garbage drawings and spelling monstrosities. i know what you're saying. "take it easy on yourself. you were only in kindergarten!" while this is true, some of these are just hard to stomach. only after researching (googling) extensively (for 5 minutes), did i come to accept these atrocities as normal childhood behavior. apparently, a large portion of early literacy is dedicated to writing with the elegance and style of a wino. enjoy.

Before anybody starts hurling accusations of concept thievery, I would like to note that this post is, no doubt inspired by this site: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net

"I (no apostrophe) M RIDG ON A DOKE."
Not only is this not a "doke," it's not even a donkey.
It's not even a camel.
A more accurate description of what's going on here would read,
"I'm writhing on top of a brontokidneybillyraycyrasaurus."


"SCIBATMA(M?)T"
I seem to have been conflating a few things here. I drew Batman, but I was apparently stressing out over Science, Bathmats, and formally addressing female authority figures.


"hI!" "MI RBN"
Thankfully I've grown out of typecasting superhero sidekicks as Spanish speaking, toupee wearing dwarfs with hands growing from their crotches.
* Also note that "RBN" thinks about what he's saying with thought bubbles before committing to word balloons.


"MY HAS AS ON FUR(no exclamation mark)"
Luckily our has never caught on fur, as I would have surely perished.
*Please note that I am holding the smug-faced Sun responsible for our tragedy.



"I M L(backards "L")+VG MY IESCYN."
What? Can't a man L_IVG his IESCYN in public?
*The placement of the icecream cone forshadowed a wishful thought that I still have to this day.

Again, before anybody starts hurling accusations of concept thievery, I would like to note that this post is, no doubt inspired by this site: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net